Today has been a wonderful day with my family. My kids are awesome. They always do thoughtful things for Amie and I. I know I am truly a blessed man to have such a wonderful family. I will always cherish them.
My dad
June 18, 1989, was the last Father’s Day I had with my dad, 27 years ago. He passed away on June 30, 1989. I was 18. I don’t really remember it. I’m disappointed that my wife and children never met my dad. But I never really got to know him either. He didn’t tell me much about his life or family growing up. Maybe he didn’t think I was interested. There are a few things that I did pick up here and there, but there were never any “father-son” conversations about life unless it was a disciplinary action (“When I was your age…”). My siblings did get to know him better than I did. They do not realize how fortunate they are. They got to spend some of their adult years getting to know him. He turned 49 a couple weeks after I was born. He was an older, wiser man and since I was young and stubborn we didn’t see eye to eye on a lot of things. The day before he passed away, I heard the song “The Living Years” from Mike and the Mechanics playing and it struck a cord with me, especially these lyrics:
Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It’s too late when we die
To admit we don’t see eye to eye
It was released in December 1988, so it was still fairly current (full lyrics below the video). Unlike the lyrics in the song, I was there when my dad passed away, along with 2 of my sisters. But, I still didn’t get to tell him “All the things I had to say”. He had been in the hospital for about a week due to another heart attack (he had suffered from many). I remember him trying to tell me something, but he couldn’t because he had tubes down his throat to help him breathe. After a few attempts of me trying to guess what he wanted to tell me, he gave up. Later that evening, the Pastor of the church we attended came and prayed with him one last time. Then it was around 2am when his heart slowed down, and finally gave up. The heart monitor flatline still echoes in my ear.
Even though I didn’t get to know you, I love and miss you, dad. Happy Father’s Day.
[embedyt] www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGDA0Hecw1k%5B/embedyt%5D
The Living Years (lyrics)
Every generation
Blames the one before
And all of their frustrations
Come beating on your doorI know that I’m a prisoner
To all my Father held so dear
I know that I’m a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him in the living yearsCrumpled bits of paper
Filled with imperfect thought
Stilted conversations
I’m afraid that’s all we’ve gotYou say you just don’t see it
He says it’s perfect sense
You just can’t get agreement
In this present tense
We all talk a different language
Talking in defenseSay it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It’s too late when we die
To admit we don’t see eye to eyeSo we open up a quarrel
Between the present and the past
We only sacrifice the future
It’s the bitterness that lastsSo don’t yield to the fortunes
You sometimes see as fate
It may have a new perspective
On a different date
And if you don’t give up, and don’t give in
You may just be O.K.Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It’s too late when we die
To admit we don’t see eye to eyeI wasn’t there that morning
When my Father passed away
I didn’t get to tell him
All the things I had to sayI think I caught his spirit
Later that same year
I’m sure I heard his echo
In my baby’s new born tears
I just wish I could have told him in the living yearsSay it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It’s too late when we die
To admit we don’t see eye to eye
