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Well, we (my wife and I) decided to let our oldest daughter have a Facebook account. She’s fourteen now. Facebook “rules” state children must be at least thirteen. I have seen many parents circumvent that rule and let their children younger than thirteen have an account. I’m not sure what use it is to a six, seven, ten or even twelve year old. Personally, I think doing that teaches children to disrespect the rules, and authority. It tells children it’s okay to break the rules when it suits you. If you are one of those parents, don’t be surprised when they break YOUR rules. You have set the precedent.
We took our time, and learned the pros and cons of social networking before allowing our oldest to participate. And of course it is still evolving. Naturally, our daughter has been wanting one since she turned thirteen, as most, if not all her friends were already on Facebook too, and Facebook says it’s okay at thirteen. But we know from personal experience it can be a time waster. And there are hidden dangers lurking on the Internet. So we wanted to be sure she understood how to use the social networking tool. With the privacy settings changing regularly, we felt additional precautions were necessary. After all, WE as parents get to decide when our children are old enough for, and have a reasonable reason for using Facebook. Thirteen is the age Facebook is comfortable with, but you don’t have to sign your child up immediately on their thirteenth birthday. We didn’t. And now we are confident enough in the service’s privacy settings and in our daughter for understanding the need to be selective and cautious.
We’re encouraging our family members and close friends to connect with her. However we also think about how some people, even family and close friends, are not careful about what they post and not selective about who gets to read their content. I want to remind you that there are minors on Facebook, as well as the rest of the Internet. Either your friends have children they allow on Facebook or maybe you have children that you allow on Facebook. You should be selective what you post and who you allow to see your posts. Since there is no preview option (nor is it logical to have one) for parents to prescreen their children’s newsfeed, photos, notes and other options, we are left to trust the network of friends and family we allow to connect with our children to be guardians of the community when we are not there.
One feature that Facebook and Google Plus have is “list” (Facebook) or “circles” (G+) where you can place your friends, family or other connections. People will only see the content posted to the list or circle you placed them in, and people don’t know what list they have been placed in. Please use the list/circle feature with your friends and please put minors on a G-rated content list, meaning that what YOU post to that list is G-Rated. and I did say G-Rated because PG means Parental Guidance, and it is just not rational to expect parents to sit right next to their children during their Facebook time all the time.
If you need help learning how to use the “list” function, I am happy to explain. You can connect with me at contact.charlieprofit.com
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The 13 yr age limit is an aribtrary one set by government because of personal information gathering rules.
It has nothing to do with the ability of the individual to handle the task.
I argue that you should let your child be on Facebook when they’re ready. If that’s 8 or 10 or 11 or 15.
If you don’t allow that to happen, you’re creating a culture of sneaking and what happens on the internet and you don’t know about can be dangerous.
Talk to your kids about it and foster the partnership early
www.dad-camp.com/2011/02/should-your-kids-be-on-facebook/
The 13 yr age limit is an aribtrary one set by government because of personal information gathering rules.
It has nothing to do with the ability of the individual to handle the task.
I argue that you should let your child be on Facebook when they’re ready. If that’s 8 or 10 or 11 or 15.
If you don’t allow that to happen, you’re creating a culture of sneaking and what happens on the internet and you don’t know about can be dangerous.
Talk to your kids about it and foster the partnership early
www.dad-camp.com/2011/02/should-your-kids-be-on-facebook/
Buzz, thanks for your comment. Just as a 14 year old (in most places) is not allowed to drive a vehicle whether or not they have the ability, we follow the rules/law. Allowing your kids to circumvent the process because YOU think it’s okay, tells your kids it’s okay to break the rules/law when it suits you or when you think you know better. There may be situations where breaking the rules/law is necessary, but my point is that by allowing your kids on Facebook essentially sets the precedent that in trivial matters it’s okay to do what you want, regardless of the rules/law. So don’t be surprised when you make a “trivial” house rule, like “be home by 10” and your kids break it. You told them it’s okay to break rules by breaking them yourself. They learn by example. I agree that we should encourage our kids to be social online, and learn how to use the Internet, but I also believe in teaching them to be respectful of the rules/laws in place. Again, thanks for your comment!
Buzz, thanks for your comment. Just as a 14 year old (in most places) is not allowed to drive a vehicle whether or not they have the ability, we follow the rules/law. Allowing your kids to circumvent the process because YOU think it’s okay, tells your kids it’s okay to break the rules/law when it suits you or when you think you know better. There may be situations where breaking the rules/law is necessary, but my point is that by allowing your kids on Facebook essentially sets the precedent that in trivial matters it’s okay to do what you want, regardless of the rules/law. So don’t be surprised when you make a “trivial” house rule, like “be home by 10” and your kids break it. You told them it’s okay to break rules by breaking them yourself. They learn by example. I agree that we should encourage our kids to be social online, and learn how to use the Internet, but I also believe in teaching them to be respectful of the rules/laws in place. Again, thanks for your comment!