Since the start of the new year, I have had to put Jezebel to sleep. This shouldn’t come as a surprise as it was something I had been contemplating for a few months before the time came. I have just not been able to write much, although the reasons for that are not all attributed to this particular event. Losing her has been difficult because I got her when she was just 8 weeks old. She was a birthday present; I named her after a favorite band of mine, Gene Loves Jezebel. Sadly, the moment came unexpectedly, in an urgent situation.

It was late January, and it was late in the evening, around 10 p.m. Jezebel started dry-heaving, like she needed to vomit. I took her outside thinking she would, as similar events had happened previously. She began moaning in intense pain, and realizing she wasn’t getting any better I took her to the emergency vet. I had Amie, my wife, call and let them know to expect us so there would be no waiting once we got there. Upon our arrival they immediately asked for permission to X-Ray her to see if she had “bloat“; a condition in dogs that unexpectedly swells and twists the stomach. I agreed, and they took her to the X-Ray room, and medicated her to relieve her of the pain. The vet came into the room I was waiting in to explain what the options could be, based on what they might find. On the optimistic side, they would simply “untwist” Jezebel’s stomach. If the situation was dire, they would either operate or euthanize, depending on my wishes.

After what felt to be an eternity, the vet came back. She said it was the worse expected; the “bloat” was too far gone to save her without an immediate operation. I had many things to consider, primarily Jezebel’s quality of life. I could’ve been very selfish and done whatever it took to keep her alive. However, considering she was 14 1/2 years old, and had already undergone a surgery within the past year, I concluded that euthanasia was in her best interest. Had the surgery been performed, there were no guarantees that she would have survived it, lived long after, or been “at her best”. Looking back, I realize I had already been selfish enough. If I had put her to sleep sooner, she would not have had to experience such pain in her last hours.

The picture above was one of the very last pictures taken of “Bubby”, on November 18, 2007. Bubby was a nickname I gave her; a blend of buddy and baby. She was euthanized the last week of January, 2008. We miss her physical presence greatly, but believe her Spirit will be with us always.